Room Sharing Tips No One Tells You (But Should)

May 6
4 min read

Sharing a room with your newborn is something almost every new parent plans for. Whether it’s by choice, space limitations, or following safe sleep recommendations...

In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that infants sleep in the same room as their parents for at least the first 6 months. Sleeping in the parent’s room, on a separate, safe surface has been shown to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) by up to 50%.

But what isn’t talked about enough? How tricky it can actually be.

A little personal story..

I’ve experienced room sharing in two very different ways with my own babies, and both taught me a lot.

With my first daughter, I had her in a bassinet right beside my bed. I thought that was exactly what I should be doing… but I was exhausted. She was waking 3–4 times a night, and even when I fed or rocked her back to sleep she would wake the second I put her back down. As a first time mom I wanted to keep her close so most nights I ended up just holding her so she would sleep. At 4 months, when I started a sleep program with her I moved her into a crib in her own room and it made a huge difference for both of us.

My experience with my second daughter was completely different. She was more sensitive, waking every hour, was very colicky and cried a lot. The only way I could get her to settle was to breastfeed. This makes sense because a baby's sense of smell is their strongest sense at birth and they can smell breastmilk so strongly that it can trigger more frequent wake ups. Babies are biologically wired to detect their mother's scent and not only is it incredibly calming but also acts as an instinctive alert signal for hunger.

There’s this assumption that if your baby is close to you, everyone will sleep better. And while that can be true and does work for some families… it’s not always the case. With my husband working overnight I was exhausted and by the time our daughter was 2 weeks old I knew something had to change. Her room was right beside ours, and with a reliable monitor (shoutout to Levana), I decided to try moving her into her own space. As a second time mom and a Pediatric Sleep Consultant I felt more confident and comfortable choosing not to room share. For us it ended up making a big difference, decreasing her wake ups to just twice a night until I was able to begin a more formal sleep program with her.

As parents we’re naturally quick to respond (because of course we are) and even more so when our baby is right beside us in the same room. But sometimes, responding too quickly can interrupt your baby’s natural ability to settle. When my daughter was in her own room, there were times I’d hear her on the monitor, and by the time I got out of bed and walked to her room she had already settled herself back to sleep.

Room sharing can work beautifully but it often needs a bit of intention behind it.

Your Setup Matters More Than You Think

A few small changes to your setup can make a huge difference:

Crib placement: If possible, avoid having your baby’s crib right beside your bed. Even a little distance can help reduce disturbances.
Keep it dark: Light stimulates the brain and suppresses melatonin, so keeping the room dark helps everyone stay asleep longer.
Use white noise: Keep it running all night. This helps mask movement, sounds, and disruptions that can wake a baby.

Pause Before You Respond

Babies are noisy sleepers. They grunt, squirm, whine, and make all kinds of sounds, especially when they are in lighter stages of sleep. One of the most helpful tips I can give you is to pause before responding. Give your baby a moment. Sometimes they’ll resettle on their own without needing your help. Jumping in too quickly can accidentally wake them if they aren't truly awake or disturb their settling process if they are. This small shift can make a big difference over time.

Their Bedtime Doesn’t Have to Be Yours

If you’ve ever felt like you have to go to bed at 7pm because your baby does… you don't. You can absolutely put your baby down first and come back into the room later.

A few tips to make this easier:

Use a dim, red light instead of turning on overhead lights
Get ready for bed outside of the room so you’re not rummaging around
Keep the environment low stimulation once you’re in the room. Limit scrolling, watching videos, and bright screens.

Naps Might Look Different Than Nights

Room sharing doesn’t mean every single sleep has to happen in that room.

It’s okay if naps happen:

in a crib in another space
on the go
contact naps

Night sleep and day sleep are regulated by different parts of the brain and flexibility during the day can actually make things easier overall.

Watch for Signs It’s No Longer Working

Sometimes room sharing just… stops working. And that’s okay.

A few signs to watch for:

your baby is waking more frequently
they seem more aware of you being nearby
you feel restricted or stressed in your own space

Moving your baby to their own room doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. In fact, it can often improve sleep for everyone.

It’s Okay to Transition When You’re Ready

There’s no perfect timeline. While recommendations exist, every family, situation and baby are different. You’re allowed to make a change when it feels right for you. Transitions don’t have to be all or nothing either, they can be gradual and gentle.

You Don’t Have to Just “Push Through”

Room sharing can work really well with the right setup and expectations. But if you’re feeling stuck, exhausted, or unsure what to do next you don’t have to figure it out alone. Sometimes it’s not just where your baby is sleeping… but how everything is working together.

If you need support, I offer different levels of guidance based on your family’s needs and budget 🤍 Because sleep shouldn’t feel this hard.